In looking at family stress patterns, the boundaries that exist between family members and how information is shared between members based on those boundaries are important influential factors. Boundaries are, quite simply, the visible or invisible lines that define us as separate from one another. They also regulate closeness and how we behave. Boundaries fall into three categories: physical, social, and emotional. In lower stress families, boundaries are clearly defined and respected. When boundaries are not present or respected, families tend to dissolve into chaos. Chaos = Stress.
\n When working with families, one boundary I see blurred quite often is that between parents and children. In an effort to promote family transparency, unity, and perceived equality, parents may \u201cbefriend\u201d their children and share more information than a child is developmentally able to process or understand. According to Jean Piaget\u2019s Stages of Cognitive Development, elementary school age children are able to perform concrete logical thinking but do not gain abstract thought until Adolescence. So, based on concrete thinking, a statement like \u201cGrandma has cancer\u201d is interpreted as \u201cGrandma is ill and will die.\u201d Witnessing a marital argument may be interpreted as \u201cMom and Dad are going to get a divorce.\u201d When we share too much information about finances, family health issues, marital issues, etc., children tend to internalize that stress. They often become quite fearful. When speaking with your child about difficult family situations, remember that your child is not a mini adult- no matter how mature he or she may seem. <\/p>\n
How well does your family create and respect boundaries?<\/p>\n
In looking at family stress patterns, the boundaries that exist between family members and how information is shared between members based on those boundaries are important influential factors. Boundaries are, quite simply, the visible or invisible lines that define us … Continue reading