Summer is prime time for family reunions. What is it that compels us to travel hundreds of miles to be with people we may not have seen for years or maybe haven’t even met?! To be human is to crave connection. We are born relational beings, and the very first relationship we encounter is with our family. As time goes by, we branch out into other types of relationships: friends, significant others and spouses, co-workers, etc but something almost cosmic draws us back to our family of origin. Of course, not all memories and experiences with family are pleasant. Our individual experiences shape our view and our motives behind gathering as a family. Some people enter the family reunion armed with questions and looking for answers; others merely want to spend a little longer basking in the memory of “the good ol’ days.” Some now adult members find they don’t quite have the same things in common with cousins they did as childhood companions but discover the gift of seemingly “new” family members they now can relate to as the mantle of childhood has slipped away. Whatever your experience of reuniting as a family is, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Reunions are a fantastic opportunity to piece together stories and information from the family history. If you’ve always wondered about The Legend of Great Aunt Ida’s Award Winning Apple Pie, this is the time to ask. It’s interesting how many versions of the story you may encounter from different viewpoints…
• Reunions are a time for sharing and passing along family traditions. Recently, I experienced this at my own family reunion as many of us sat around my great aunt’s dining room table poring through the old family recipes, making copies to take home and share with our own growing families.
• Often, old wounds fester in families. Although it may be tempting, the reunion is not the time to corner cousin Joe with all of your grievances or ideas about how he should live his life. Your concern and/or hurt may be well-founded, but this type of confrontation is better done with thoughtful planning and care and in private. You don’t want your big scene to be what everyone talks about at the next reunion, so keep things positive. This is a family reunion not war.
• Be openminded. You’ve probably changed a lot over the years and the family has, too. Try not to pigeonhole people in the past. See them for who they are and acknowledge positive changes and show understanding for difficulties. Thankfully, we aren’t 13 years old forever, so respect family members and where they are in the family life cycle TODAY.
• Lastly, bring the stories and traditions home to share. Accept the connection between you and your family ties and how they shape so much of who you are even with the distance of miles and years between you.