Spring is almost upon us, and with the increasing temperatures come Little League sign-ups, dance competitions, end of the year projects, swimming lessons, family picnics- the list goes on and on! Managing your own schedule can be overwhelming enough, but when we add all the activities that are “good” for your child on a daily basis it is positively daunting.

Parents often feel responsible for providing children with a variety of experiences to help them discover their interests and talents that may lead to stress relieving hobbies or a career someday. Connecting with a faith community, family, and peers also factors into many family schedules. But, the truth is we only have so many hours in a day! Despite the fact that children are involved in positive activities, there can be too much of a good thing. Signs of an over-scheduled child may include: irritability, declining school performance, difficulty sleeping, decreased interest in certain activities he or she once enjoyed, worry about being good enough or getting everything done, and conflict with parents.

Remember that children communicate with us through their behavior. If you notice these changes, ask your child how busy he or she feels. Ask about worries. Then sit down and prioritize all the child’s activities in a week. Write down all the activities your child is involved in and any you would like to include in the future. Number them in order of importance. If your child is older elementary age, ask him or her to number them as well and compare lists. Especially if school work has suffered, make sure that homework and school attendance are priority number one. Print out or draw a calendar template or timeline beginning with the time your child wakes up and ends with bedtime. Fill in meals, school time, and hygiene first. Figure out how much time needs to be devoted to homework each day. With the time left in the day, plug in the next priority and so on. If family time and piano lessons are prioritized higher than soccer, you may find that there isn’t time to attend practices and games four to five days a week and go to Grandma’s on Sundays and piano lessons on Wednesdays. But, maybe there is time to take part in a different activity on the list once a week. Which activities can go on hold for a while to accommodate another? Which activities can wait until the summer? Don’t forget that children need a little down-time to recharge and even just play, too. Remember nap time?

You may be thinking, “No, we have to do this for the future” or “My child has to be involved in extra-curricular activities, because they are good for her.” While the former is certainly true, children feel better about themselves and more competent in their abilities when they are given the chance to focus on one or two activities that they are committed to and have the time and energy to do well. This instills responsibility, structure, commitment, self-worth, and a sense of belonging. Teaching your child to manage priorities early on may save you and your child a lot of anxiety in the future. It’s all important, but not all of it is necessary, which is a much healthier way to approach our busy lives than saying “Yes” to everything. Good luck!